I miss my husband tonight.
He is away at work, I have one sick child and everyone is tired and cranky and refusing to go to sleep.
I have had a big busy hectic day and it’s times like this I just wish my husband was here when I got home.
He is only away for 3 nights total this week. I am not trying to compare myself to those of you who’s husband is away for much longer, or forever. But that doesn’t make my struggle any less.
Here are 11 things I miss about my husband when he is away:
1. Someone adult to talk to.
In a house full of children, I miss having a decent conversation with a grown up sometimes. It’s amazing how quickly you tire of telling someone 10 times to do the same thing.
You really appreciate an adult who will listen to you and who knows how to follow instructions!
It’s the little things he does around the house that I really notice are absent when he is.
He loves making the boys their school lunches, and he will always make me a cup of tea after dinner and bring it to me where ever I am in the house.
He is also a great breakfast chef so breakfast times in our house are always an event. He loves to put on a spread with amazing food and fantastic coffee in the mornings.
So, while I run around crazily making sure everyone is ready for school in the morning, he does the background stuff which makes me stress less, and yell less.
3. His relationship with the kids.
Daddy is the fun parent.
He plays with them and wrestles with them and kicks the ball. He encourages them constantly to be active and have fun. I love seeing them together and I hate seeing them apart. Having him home also takes the pressure off me being the sole entertainer!
4. A calming influence.
When life ever gets too hard, he takes time out to remind me about the important things in life.
He tells me to not sweat the small stuff and he takes us all to the beach. Or he seduces me and makes me forget all my problems, which for the most part are only trivial anyway.
5. A tender touch.
Every time I walk past him, he grabs me or touches me in some way that lets me know he cares deeply about me.
If we go out together we always hold hands.
It’s this wonderful degree of intimacy that makes me feel very empty when he is not here.
6. A sweet word.
I miss the way he always has something nice to say to me.
Like – I really like they way you have done your hair, or geez you look sexy in that dress! Maybe I am being spoilt here but I can’t wait for him to get home for more confidence boosting complements.
7. A sounding board.
Sure, we can talk on the phone but it’s just not the same. We love bouncing ideas off each other and helping each other out where we can.
What’s nicer than curling up together on the couch and watching your favourite show? We have this ritual of tea, chocolate and Netflix after everyone is in bed and our work for the day is finally done.
It’s just not quite the same on your own.
Cooking for one adult sucks.
It is so hard! So we end up having things like eggs on toast for dinner often when he is away. My darling children never seem to appreciate my culinary delights quite the way my husband does so it is a matter of K.I.S.S. (Keep It Simple Stupid) for dinner.
We’ve got a king size bed. That’s a big bed for just one body. I get lost in it alone! Whenever he is gone I sit up late by myself writing or watching movies just because I can’t stand going to that big bed solo.
Actually, I’m never alone for long. I’ve got 3 little kids and inevitably at least one of them will find their way in there at some point during the night!
11. A formidable team.
We form a united front.
A tough team that will triumph over all. Even the way we take the boys to school together is just part of that awesome classic partnership strength. We even link arms!
When he is not around I really feel as if I am missing my right arm. He is my wing man. And I miss him.
Working away from home is not for everyone.
I know he misses being at home terribly too.
Yet believe it or not, we can make it work and we have done for several years.
The worst roster Brian ever did was 22 days on with 6 days off for over a year. We had a new baby and the baby didn’t recognise him each time he came back from shift! Man, I almost didn’t recognise him!
The rosters have gradually evolved to 2 weeks on 1 week off, then 8 days on and 6 days off, to 5 days away and home on the weekends.
These days the deal is much better with only 3 days a week spent away and the rest in the home office. But I still miss him.
Of course absence does actually make the heart grow fonder, it’s true!
His days away are really making me appreciate him when he is home more. And we certainly don’t take his presence for granted either.
Whatever your situation, you need to find some good in it.
And if you can’t find any good, then you need to change it.
For us, he works long hours because it pays well and it is our means to an end. We need him to be the breadwinner so that we can afford our lifestyle and our children can have a comfortable life. Otherwise he wouldn’t ever go away.
Working away from home is our current reality and we miss each other like crazy!
But we are still maintaining a happy, healthy love-filled relationship despite this. We make sure we have a lot of fun when he is home!
Hopefully one day we can take the steps we need in order to eliminate spending so many days apart.
What is your current reality?
Please comment below to share!