How is the health of your relationship with your partner or spouse?
Are you fighting all the time?
Do you hardly see each other?
Is there any communication?
A good relationship between 2 consenting adults is full of love, communication, respect and happiness.
Here are my top healthy relationship tips to make your partnership maintain optimum health levels.
1.Communication is Key
This is not just talking to each other, but how you talk to each other that counts.
Remember that your partner is unable to read your mind so if something is bothering you, don’t wait for him to guess what it is.
If you are feeling hurt, sad, angry you should calm down before voicing your concerns so you won’t be so emotional and prone to outbursts. Approach your partner at a time that is mutually convenient and when there are few or no distractions. For us, it would be after the kids have gone to bed and we are relaxing with our evening cuppa.
Approach the conversation diplomatically. Instead of saying ‘I can’t believe you did that!’, say ‘What you did today really hurt me’.
Use the term ‘I feel’ at the start of a sentence and speak in a calm voice. Don’t get worked up and if you feel the conversation is descending into a yelling match, walk away and say ‘I really want to continue this conversation at a time when we can both be calm about it.’
Sometimes you just have to be the bigger person and back down.
Don’t sweat the small stuff.
If the issue is only trivial, it only takes a sensible person to back off and let the other person win and end the conflict. Of course there is a balance here, and if you feel like you are the only one backing down ever, then that is cause for some serious conversation!
3. Both be on the Same Page
I am an advocate for following your dreams and doing what makes you happy, sure. But not if it is at the expense of the other person.
If your daily 5am starts for swimming training and 3 times a week gym classes are having an impact on your relationship with your partner or your family life, you need to consider what is really important and prioritise a little bit. Or if your all night solo partying seems to affecting your husband, think about what it is about what you are doing that might be upsetting or unfair to him.
Respect and honour your partner and be considerate at all times.
On the other hand, if your husband suddenly announces he is moving the family to Europe for a job opportunity, it is imperative that you make major life decisions like this together and it certainly helps if you want the same things in life.
Sometimes somebody has to compromise.
Read more here on How to Live a Balanced Life
4. Do Activities Together
If you live together, eat together and sleep together, it makes sense that you would want to have some fun together too.
There are some great activities that are specifically targeted at couples.
Take some ballroom dancing lessons, do a cooking class, go to the gym together, go paddleboarding, rockclimbing, go on a romantic vacation – whatever! Having fun as a couple can go a long way towards keeping that spark alive.
5. Be Intimate, Always
I don’t mean have lots of sex, although that is definitely good for relationship health!
But it’s all the little touches and looks outside of the bedroom that make you and ultimate couple.
Don’t go overboard on the PDA either!
Just give him a little shoulder squeeze or a neck massage as you wander past him sitting at the computer, or simply trail your hand along his shoulders.
Kiss each other goodbye without fail. And always say goodnight, I love you at the end of the day. Make it a ritual.
6. Set Goals
Setting goals for yourselves as a couple can help you to show that you are committed to the relationship.
In my marriage we have money goals, travel goals, plans of moving house, of selling properties, of having another baby. Both short and long term goals, but realistic ones.
Remind yourself what it is about your partner that bought you together in the first place.
All couples have ups and downs in their relationship with each other. It is normal. Relationships themselves are fluid, always evolving, so it is important to be able to recognise these changes and adapt accordingly.
Healthy relationships don’t just happen by themselves, it takes constant work.
But together you can make your relationship healthy and happy and maintain that awesome feeling of commitment and companionship throughout your days!