Reconnecting with Self
Hanging out with your good friends regularly is a perfect way to stop madness setting in when you are married with children!! I’m not saying you don’t love your family, it’s just that sometimes you need an escape to reconnect with your own inner soul.
The constant pressure of someone little always wanting something from
you can really get on your nerves eventually. As can your husband in your personal space offering an opinion on all your decisions throughout the day.
Don’t ditch your friends!
This is why when you get married – don’t ditch your friends. You need that outer connection to reset your brain and soul. Hanging out with your friends on occasion will make you a happier person, a lighter person due to the fact that you can spend simple fun times with them. When you have got history with another person, when you have things in common, whether it’s someone who knew you long before you even met your husband or someone you only met last month, you need to nurture that relationship too. Don’t ever let your husband dictate who you can be friends with but do surround yourself with positive people.
You can say what you like without the other being hurt, you can be honest and really open up with a good friend. Laugh, laugh, laugh that’s what friends are for, you don’t need to be serious that’s why you hang out. Be a good, true friend and you will have a great friend in return. These friends are there for each other in good times and in bad and are often the first people that you will open up to if your marriage is ever in trouble so they are an invaluable part of your life.
Balance is the Key
But with everything there needs to be a balance. Don’t be selfish. Too much time apart will damage your relationship with family, too much time with your family without a break can make you feel resentful and hard done by because you might feel like your dreams are taking a back seat to everyone else’s.
Time with your husband, time with your husband and kids, time with your friends, and time to yourself.
You not only need time with your good friends, you also need time to yourself. Time to think, relax and love oneself. Once you get the balance right you will have the ultimate relationship with your husband and children because you will know what its like to miss them and anticipate them which is really a great feeling. The worst thing to do is to take your loved ones for granted, this only creates a stale relationship for both.
Some great ideas for hanging out with friends and yourself could include:
- Drinks at the local bar or pub
- Cafe (Lunch or morning tea)
- Concerts / Theater / Comedy
- Spend the day at her house talking (drinking tea)
- Gym (classes or just working out)
- A Weekend City Break
- Go for a Walk or Run
- Have a Bath and Read a Book
The list goes on and on for different ideas of awesome things to do on your own or with a friend, just as long as you are having fun.
Don’t ever feel guilty for wanting to have a break
I call it ‘Mother Guilt’, and every mother gets it. But believe me when I say that spending time apart from your family actually makes you a better wife and mother. Today I spent the day with my friend who has just had a new baby. I knew she needed my support at this time and I knew I could be a better friend if I didn’t bring my small children along. So, I communicated this to my husband who kindly offered to have kids and do the school run so I could spend a solo day with some newborn snuggles and some BFF chit-chat. And I so appreciate that. The baby was so beautiful and I wasn’t distracted by my 2 year old being jealous or my 4 year old tearing apart their house! My friend appreciated it too! Now I am a refreshed and calm mother again and the cuddles I got when I walked in the door tells me that my kids appreciate that. Win, win, win.
This is just another strategy that I use to maintain my awesome relationship with my husband and family.